


Lack Of Information

by HalfshellVenus



Category: 24
Genre: Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-03
Updated: 2011-03-03
Packaged: 2017-10-16 02:06:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/167263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HalfshellVenus/pseuds/HalfshellVenus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A crack-filled take on how S3 might have gone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lack Of Information

**Author's Note:**

> This is a story from many years ago. It was written for LiveJournal's 60_minute_fics, using ALL the triggers for the week of 6/23/06 at once (Amnesia, Evil Twin, and No-One Ever Really Dies). There's a later 24 set of stories that use all of the triggers separately (not crack).

Sometimes information is extricated by subterfuge and cunning. And other times, it falls right into your lap.

A television blared in the living room of a 3-bedroom cottage in the coastal hills of the Bay Area. On the screen, a man lurked around the edges of a supply yard, ducking in and out of cover as the news helicopter hunted him with an impressive long-range camera.

“Goddamnit!” the man watching T.V. yelled out from his recliner. That was _his_ face on television, and the guy wearing it had a gun and was clearly in the middle of something not at all good.

“Jesus.” The man got out of his recliner, pacing in front of the television set. “I’m retired, for Christ’s sake! I don’t know where they found this guy, but he’s making me look like an idiot.”

Whoever the armed man was—a twin, an Evil Twin, the result of plastic surgery—he’d picked one hell of a guy to impersonate. Jack Bauer’s life had been crap when he worked for CTU. Years of torture-filled, murderous, morally-ambiguous _crap_. So, fine. This guy was welcome to it. As long as he was discreet about it, and didn’t go around doing things that made Bauer look like some kind of unprofessional incompetent.

“Lexa, can you bring me a beer?” Jack called out.

“Sure thing, baby,” a husky voice responded.

She came out from the kitchen a moment later, a pouty brunette with knowing eyes. Some would say she was a dead ringer for Nina Meyers… and they’d be right. The woman had escaped Federal security—and Jack Bauer—a few years back. Rising from the dead was only slightly more difficult.

Thanks to lingering amnesia from her fatal or near-fatal injury, she was harmless enough right now. She was still an accomplished and willing bedroom partner—some things hadn’t changed at all—but her past and her ultra-destructive obsessions were as forgotten as the name she used to own.

Jack watched her easing on over his way, her lifting smile offering more interesting entertainment than the morning news. If she ever remembered who she was, he’d have to eliminate her. He might be retired, but Jack was a patriot and he was always on the clock.

But until then, he’d enjoy what circumstances had brought him. He pulled her down into the chair with him and let his fingertips start something they knew down to chorus and verse.

For now, it was all beer and lazing around until the sex-train swept on through.

For now, in the ordinary blueprint of one newly-retired Jack Bauer, this life was very, very good.

 

 _\-------- fin --------_


End file.
